nehanda | View My Profile

for seven months now, i've been wrestling with the oh- so briefly pregnancy weight, and its now getting on my nerves. i periodically purge off clothes that i no longer wear to goodwill and before i become pregnant, i had donated some clothes. now, that ive added close to 20 pounds, im rather confused as to where my self/body is leading too. it feels rather insulated, widened hips, full breasts that sort of thing with the ongoing treatment for mysthenia, it just pisses me off to be asked whether i have a child.

i've been giving it much thought about this baby thing, especially about women/couples who so badly want to be mothers but physically cant and how they must truly feel. for many years i didn't think motherhood was something i wanted to delve into & i assumed that when the time was right, it would be simple, uncomplicated, unmessy and much fun. & for the most part, i still think it is without pcos lurking in the background. however, on the flip side, that might not be the case. subsequently then, how do i use this current thought process to deepen the practice of tonglen. how can i move towards a position of merely standing on the fence to embrace the suffering of others who truly want this experience.

posted by nehanda at 7:21 PM


Post a Comment

<< Home