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i have been one of the women in the show.between the ages of 20-27/28 ish, i had sex with countless men that i've lost count off. with or without protection.some of them i never knew their last names, where they lived and what they liked about themselves. they never knew much about me either. what i liked to eat. whether i liked showers or baths. & what i found most funny on television. in those eight years, i loathed everything about myself. & from this meaningless fucks, i hoped to derive some affection of some sorts. i thought of myself as a raging nymphomania, but the truth of the matter was i didnt think anything wonderful about myself. there was a thrill about the search, i'd met a guy and within a couple of seconds sieze him up as a potiential lover. it was a wham bam thank you, dont call me, i'll call you senario. between the zipless fucks, there were months when i'd be involved with a boyfriend & at those times i would be monogamous and try to be a typical normal person. it's only when things went down hill that id jump back to this old way of doing things. the last seven months have been my trial on fire. that irrespective of the craziness of the last relationship, i haven't gone back to my old life. i dont think its because i've become better. i am a very sexual being with a high libido. i think its more of re-learning impulse control and knowing the things that trigger this. and, looking forward to better things.

posted by nehanda at 10:25 AM

5 Comments:

Blogger freddy said...

we all have our demons, and darn it, if oprah doesn't find some way of uncovering them and displaying them on her show. i am thinking of you... i am with you... and no matter what road you take, i'll be here if your legs get tired.

7:22 AM  
Blogger nehanda said...

yeah freddy..ive missed you..thank you

8:38 AM  
Blogger sokari said...

I came up with this idea for international women's day on the 8th of March as part of the African Women Blogging roundup that Mshairi (http://www.mshairi.com/blog) and I do for the GV.

I thought it would be great if each woman writes a brief piece (about 5 lines if possible) about 1 or 2 women she would like to honour/celebrate post it on their blogs. It could be your mother, friend, artists, activist, leade, from your neighbourhood, community, country or continent wide - whoever as long as they are African. Once we have responses we will know exactly how many will post on the 8th of March then Mshairi and I will do a roundup on GV of all the posts by the African women bloggers.



If you are interested in participating please contact me at:

africa at globalvoicesonline dot org

many thanks

11:09 AM  
Blogger :her soledad: said...

I applaud you, the women on that show and myself recently while standing in the mirror. This kind of behavior will continue if those of us who have been there do not show our faces; our everyday, beautiful, normal faces and tell younger women/other women that they are not by themselves and that there is another way to feel their own beauty, worth and freedom.

Thank you.

10:32 AM  
Anonymous instigator said...

My my my!You are so empowered!Don't let anyone tell you what you should have done with your femininity.You have the right to be a whore!And dont let anyone tell you anything else!

8:18 PM  

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