an unreasonable woman

"I remember how being young and black and gay and lonely felt. A lot of it was fine, feeling I had the truth and the light and the key, but a lot of it was purely hell."

-Audre Lorde

coming out of hiding.

i've spent my time since coming back from vacation contemplating the meaning of coming out at such a not so tender age. several days ago, i began the process of stepping out and claiming my space as a queer, lesbian. gender fluid, once was a mohawk wearer chic. it doesn't feel strange to hear myself say ' i am gay.' i dont feel like its a betrayal of any part of me. perhaps, its because i haven't told my mother yet..ha! my friend r thinks that being raised as an african has made me rather subserviant. i like to think of it as being diplomatic. i don't feel the need to insist on my way, however, i do understand what he is saying. the importance to speak one's truth regardless. i identify alot with the women playing the movie because i know first hand the teachings of patriarchy, the subtle nuances of curtailing the spirit, the objectification of the pussy and the utterly loneliness one feels. i dont ever want to go back and be anything but myself. i shudder to think that i may never reside in kenya again. i love the skies and the stars. i love knowing my neighbours and bartering for food. i love that i can clearly and freely speak my mother tongue and wiggle my feet while seating on real grass. i also want to be free. i am claiming my freedom. i am free.
ashe

posted by nehanda at 7:44 AM