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"I remember how being young and black and gay and lonely felt. A lot of it was fine, feeling I had the truth and the light and the key, but a lot of it was purely hell."

-Audre Lorde

coming out of hiding.

i've spent my time since coming back from vacation contemplating the meaning of coming out at such a not so tender age. several days ago, i began the process of stepping out and claiming my space as a queer, lesbian. gender fluid, once was a mohawk wearer chic. it doesn't feel strange to hear myself say ' i am gay.' i dont feel like its a betrayal of any part of me. perhaps, its because i haven't told my mother yet..ha! my friend r thinks that being raised as an african has made me rather subserviant. i like to think of it as being diplomatic. i don't feel the need to insist on my way, however, i do understand what he is saying. the importance to speak one's truth regardless. i identify alot with the women playing the movie because i know first hand the teachings of patriarchy, the subtle nuances of curtailing the spirit, the objectification of the pussy and the utterly loneliness one feels. i dont ever want to go back and be anything but myself. i shudder to think that i may never reside in kenya again. i love the skies and the stars. i love knowing my neighbours and bartering for food. i love that i can clearly and freely speak my mother tongue and wiggle my feet while seating on real grass. i also want to be free. i am claiming my freedom. i am free.

posted by nehanda at 7:44 AM


Blogger JrnyWmn said...

I'm going through my own coming out process as well. I love that quote by Audre Lorde, it is exciting and very powerful and at the same time terrifying.

11:23 AM  
Blogger nakachi said...

i love that film. oh, i have so much to tell you. becoming!

1:33 PM  
Blogger nattysoul said...

You will always have a home here baby, I will always welcome you with open arms and I will always love you,no matter who says what when where. Sometimes I miss you and I wonder how you are. Then I pray for you and I know that you are being taken care of. Never feel that you cannot come home, because you will always have a home with me. I love you gal.

7:34 AM  
Blogger brownfemipower said...

how beautiful...what a wonderful thing to witness...

8:20 PM  
Blogger wild honey said...

You're amazing and strong. Looking forward to hearing more...

2:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

whao.... its good that you're able to set loose the voices in your head and fly free.

Goodluck on your journey

1:40 PM  

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